9.06.2005



It came from the Depths



born out of upcoming changes in my life, i decided that it was time to blog. the next couple months bring a couple huge changes into the system. but first i guess i should bring you all up to date;

alright, november '04 fed up with life and the way things were going, i decide to rob a liqour store (/shady off), but yeah after being called back to mci to help set up a new segment, i decide i had enough when they started going back on a couple promises they made at the start. mostly i just wanted to move into a leadership position off the phone. but sadly due to people leaving it wasn't a possibility. so i went my separate way and cut my ties to mci. oh well. since then though my life went through quite the long chapter. unemployed since nov 04, i haven't worked a day.

the biggest blow to me was losing my car mid jan. no source of income=no insurance=no right to drive. so at my father's insistence we dumped the car at my godmothers house, hoping to pick it up a couple weeks later after finding a new job (lol). quick note about me, there were 5 things i cared about in life: my family, my computer, my car, the motorcycle, and the future. losing my car was losing a part of me, and i hope that i never have to feel that kind of loss again. well days went by, World of Warcraft came out at the end of november, and guess what, i found something to do.

made my avatar, Akar (Orc Hunter, Mannoroth) and basically lived day to day busying myself in another world. to date i've logged 60 days played on that one character. think about that if you could for a moment, (btw i took a moment and added up the time between all my characters of note and i have spent 89 days total, so 3 months) for the past 9 months i've spent 3 of them sitting at my computer desk toiling away. you spend a third of your life sleeping, i've spent a third of my life playing wow. addicted? no. but its an enjoyable experience that's easy to come back to. the reason its so enjoyable, is that it provides an easy to see metric of your sucess. time played=advancement so when your unemployed, you have a lot of time, so you can advance. the general philosphy of a game like this is that your always working towards something. you have to get level 10, level 11, lvl 20, lvl 40, lvl 60. you would think that once you finish getting to 60 that its over. but no, there's always a better bow, a better set of gloves, a cooler horse to ride. its a great time waster for the player, and a great money maker for the company. gotta keep those subcriptions payments rolling in.

as much as people would say that games won't take you anywhere. i will say this, the experiences and the friends that i have made these past 9 months, i wouldn't trade them for the world. i've met people from around the world, and all we wanna do is log on, kill a dragon, get a shiny sword and call it a night.
as with everything on the internet, you have to look at things with a certain amount of detachment. your talking to people you haven't met face to face and thusly you don't have the sort of inhibitions necessary in a real social situation. with that in mind, the past couple months have been a ride to say the least. i have a great circle of friends online and of course, there are cliques just like any highschool cafeteria, jocks here, goth kids there, etc. its greatly magnified by the fact that you don't need to interact with anyone you don't feel like, you just shut them off. well thats all fine and dandy, but when people want to destroy everything that others have built up because their gloves aren't as shiny as the guy next to them? well it causes a bit of strife, luckily that bit is all over and life goes on.
now i have a couple friends which i went to highschool with up in CT, much love to mike, david, ted, & stahl. they definitely keep my grounded into reality. and more than that, these are friends that i will hope to keep for a lifetime. with that in mind im bringing my game obsession back to a more sociable level. mid decemberish i will be moving out of my parents house. 21 years is good for me and its time to start moving to my own beat. i will be moving in with the root of all my evil, david carter roach. (one can congratulate david on being the man who sparked my lust for all things logical and entertaining, starcraft ftw). now david and me go way back, first day of westminster, skinny white boy living the next room over, doesn't have a computer, but has starcraft, wants to try it out, next thing i know im pulling a 12 hour bender in the computer lab playing startcraft until my eyes dry out. but alas, my decent into madness is best covered in a different post. but he brings with him the last vestige of my former life at westy (which were undeniably the 4 biggest years of my life (another time)) and a will to game.
and thankfully not all will be lost on mr carter's next foray onto american soil, julie comes this way as well. ahh julie, if there was ever a woman i would ask to marry based on principle it'd be you. gotta find a girl that will join me in what i love most /shrug. julie comes from 'bumfuck nowhere minnesota' but thankfully we share many common threads. general outlook on life being the biggest one. college degree is super, but i'll pass (for now) thanks for asking.

so after my huge sidetrack into the future, the weeks dragged on. being trapped in the house was quite the experience. you never realize something until you've lost it. and losing my car was huge. i don't need a lot of money to be happy, but freedom is something that you can't really buy and that was the hardest part about getting through the past couple months. but thankfully that time is over.

there was no bigger surprise than last friday morning being woken up by my mom and the news that follows. papi is going to reinstate your car insurance because gas is way to expensive on his trucks. well as it turns out my dad figured it out, and it would be cheaper for him to just pay insurance and gas on my car that to pay gas on his 2 trucks. so that same day i started a policy and got the car registered again. and you better believe that that sunday afternoon driving my old friend back from middle of nowhere was the best drive i could have ever asked for. i spent 4 hours handwashing my car and cleaning it the fuck out and with that i bring you these

so fresh and so clean, clean
man i wish i studied some more poety, but words cannot describe how it feels to look outside my window and see my car out there again, as i told mami, thank you for giving my part of my life back.

tomorrow starts another chapter in my life, this one is finally ending. job interview tomorrow for the geek squad and if all goes well (i'm good at making it go well) then the apartment search begins!

know this, the games will never stop, its as much who i am as carol's music collection is a part of who she is (im still so sorry i deleted your songs off my computer many moons ago). but alas all thing in moderation, so we'll see how chapter plays out.

i'll leave you with a poem, i read a lot of robert frost when i was a little more crazy back in freshman year, and one poem really stuck out to me, take from it what you will

Robert Frost, Devotion.
The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to the ocean--
Holding the curve of one position,
Counting an endless repetition.
i hope you enjoyed my blog, look forward to many more, i'll keep going for that next shiny sword...

3 comments:

Caro said...

yay, joey has a blog!

lol

i simply smile for you.

i know, i know, i know it all.

and i undertsnad freedom, but there is also something called too much freedom. good lord, joseph, what have i gotten msyelf into?

but it's not my fault.

it will go well, because in the end we are two of very much the same [we are 50% the same, you're the person that's most like me in the world! teeha] kind. when we say it will go well, and we actually mean it, it will go the fuck well.

stay classy.

Lauren Deal said...

hi joe

Anonymous said...

You gay son, you gay.